Tag Archives: pain

No Sleep Tonight

The daylight has faded into dusk.

I’m still hours,

Maybe even days

Away from sleep.

Sitting here alone with my thoughts

And a growing sense of dismay.

My self-worth was never truly palpable,

Simply a hallucination created somewhere

Within the darkest, most depraved

Corners of my mind.

How quickly the illusion has vanished and

Became the most futile of emotions

That is jealousy.

Naivety, much like ignorance,

Is truly bliss.

Reality has crumbled the walls

Of what I had created,

Giving away to truth.

Everything has become crystal clear.

Facts, they were not,

Merely fabrications contrived

From the coldest of hearts 

And the sickest of minds.

My cheerful expression is purely a facade

To fool onlookers.

Should they look past the exterior,

They would see a soul that is dying.

An abyss of pain and anguish.

There is no salvation for such a damaged spirit.

Now here I am,

Hours,

Maybe even days away

From sleep.

Unable to relinquish

Thoughts of my lack of significance…

Why I’m not good enough…

How I could be replaced so easily…

These thoughts unreasonably become

Tears which burn my eyes

And roll down my cheeks.

And I’m still hours,

Maybe even days away from sleep.

 

 

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What Do You Do When…?

What do you do when 

The pain just won’t go away?

And your words get twisted

No matter what you say?

 

What do you do when

Every day is completely frustrating,

And you try to take a breath,

But you’re just suffocating?

 

What do you do when 

Sleep is the only way out?

No one can hear you

No matter how loud you shout.

 

What do you do when

You can’t escape the past?

And it seems as if

Nothing is meant to last?

 

What do you do when

Those thoughts haunt your dreams?

Who knows if anything 

Is really what it seems?

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Forget What Hurt You, But Never Forget What It Taught You

Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.

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December 1, 2013 · 3:50 am

Lesson Learned

After all this time, I’m still heartbroken. I’m completely over him, but it still hurts when I think about the situation. He didn’t just break my heart…he demolished it. I was the idiot who gave him that power though. I kept going back to him over and over again. I guess I’m an emotional masochist. Every time we would get back together, he would swear that he would never hurt me again. And I knew he was full of shit every single time, but I took him back anyway. I knew he would hurt me again. I loved him so much that I was willing to set myself up for a big fall. And it hurt just as much the first time. Knowing that it was going to happen didn’t make it hurt any less. You can mentally brace yourself, but when it comes down to it, it’s still going to hurt like hell. Or maybe it hurt because deep down I am a bit of an optimist and I was hoping that he would prove me wrong by being faithful. I don’t regret being with him because it helped shape my character. I learned a lot about myself. Like how far I would go for someone I love. That I’m very forgiving….sometimes to a fault. But most importantly I learned that I need to have more respect for myself. To never again allow someone to disrespect me like that. To never again give my heart to someone who will be careless with it.

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November 9, 2013 · 5:27 am