I Miss You

I miss your voice.

Your eyes.

Your smile.

Your touch.

Your laugh.

Your hug.

Your kiss.

But mostly, 

I miss being with you.

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Dear Parents

Dear Parents

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December 10, 2013 · 10:25 pm

Forget What Hurt You, But Never Forget What It Taught You

Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.

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December 1, 2013 · 3:50 am

Beautiful Destruction

I’m caught up in you again

My thoughts are getting twisted

Starting to fall all over again

I wish I could have resisted

I become tangled in the moment

And tied down by your seduction

You watch as it all unravels

Into such beautiful destruction

 

Butterflies become knots

Kisses turn into confusion

Everything you say makes

Sanity fade into delusion

 

I’m nothing more than a thought

To entertain for just a while

And you are just a memory

That keeps me in denial

Not knowing what you want

Makes it hard to be your everything

Can’t bring myself to walk away

Because I’m dying to be your anything

 

Butterflies become knots

Kisses turn into confusion

Everything you say makes

Sanity fade into delusion

 

It’s too soon to tell

It’s too late to ever know

It hurts to much to try

And feels too good to let go

(Sooner or later you have to try to let go)

 

Until then…

Butterflies will be knots

Kisses will be confusion

Sanity will fade

And I’ll dwell in my delusion

 

(Sooner or later you have to try to let go)

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Isn’t It Funny?

Isn’t it funny when you find yourself talking to an ex and feeling absolutely nothing but amused?  Amused because this is the guy you once thought was The One.  The One you were going to marry.  The One you would have done anything for if asked.  Kill a man?  Done.  Before he could tell you why, you’ve already found the most secluded area to dump the body.  It’s funny because you can’t remember just when you stopped feeling so intensely.  It didn’t happen overnight, but once you realized that you were over him, it seemed to happen so suddenly.  As if a thief in the night came into your home and stole them from you.  All you can do is laugh about it.  You remember when you swore that you would never get over him.  It seemed impossible.  And now here you are, conversing with him, catching up, not feeling pain.  And you can actually see being (dare I say?) friends with him.  Isn’t that funny?

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Lesson Learned

After all this time, I’m still heartbroken. I’m completely over him, but it still hurts when I think about the situation. He didn’t just break my heart…he demolished it. I was the idiot who gave him that power though. I kept going back to him over and over again. I guess I’m an emotional masochist. Every time we would get back together, he would swear that he would never hurt me again. And I knew he was full of shit every single time, but I took him back anyway. I knew he would hurt me again. I loved him so much that I was willing to set myself up for a big fall. And it hurt just as much the first time. Knowing that it was going to happen didn’t make it hurt any less. You can mentally brace yourself, but when it comes down to it, it’s still going to hurt like hell. Or maybe it hurt because deep down I am a bit of an optimist and I was hoping that he would prove me wrong by being faithful. I don’t regret being with him because it helped shape my character. I learned a lot about myself. Like how far I would go for someone I love. That I’m very forgiving….sometimes to a fault. But most importantly I learned that I need to have more respect for myself. To never again allow someone to disrespect me like that. To never again give my heart to someone who will be careless with it.

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November 9, 2013 · 5:27 am

The Best Feelings

The relief you feel when you find out great news about something that you’ve been agonizing over.

Validation for anything, no matter how seemingly insignificant.

Waking up early, looking at the clock, and seeing that you have a couple of more hours to sleep before your alarm goes off.

Sleeping in.

Getting enough sleep.

Waking up feeling rested.

Making someone smile…making them laugh is even better though.

Being in the right place at the right time.

Experiencing serendipity.

When it seems like fate and destiny are working in your favor.

Just knowing that something was meant to be.

Capturing the perfect shot with your camera.

Looking through old photos.

Reading poetry.

Driving with the windows down and the music turned up on a sunny day. 

The moment your favorite song starts playing.

Singing it with passion.

Hearing a song that describes your life at that very moment.

The tingly feeling of live music.

Seeing your favorite band perform live.

Getting high from a crowd’s energy.

Crowd surfing…as long as you don’t hit the ground.

Recovering from being dropped while crowd surfing by jumping right back up and the whole crowd around you cheers for you then throws you back up.

When a celebrity acknowledges you through social media.

Actually meeting a celebrity.

New shoes.

Wearing perfume that makes you smell magical.

A fresh haircut.

When you look good and you know it.

Reaching your goal weight.

Fitting into the skinny jeans you refuse to get rid of.

When you manage to accomplish something that seemed impossible.

Realizing that sometimes you can surprise yourself.

Crossing something off of your bucket list.

Completing your To Do list.

Getting everything you needed at the grocery store and not forgetting a thing.

Finding money in your purse you didn’t even know you had.

Pay day.

Seeing your reward after truly earning every penny of that check.

Getting out of work early.

A well-deserved vacation.

The liberation of putting in your two weeks notice.

Nailing an interview.

Getting a job offer.

Having someone try to poach you because you are that good at your job.

Figuring out what you want to with your life.

Doing absolutely nothing.

Doing something nice for no reason.

Being productive.

Meeting a deadline.

Putting in a hard day’s work.

Feeling appreciated.

Climbing into bed after a long, exhausting day.

When you receive the package for something that you completely forgot you ordered.

Smelling something amazing.

Instantly bonding with someone you just met.

Making new friends.

Keeping in touch with your oldest friends.

Spending time with your family.

Seeing someone you have missed terribly for the first time in a very long time. 

Finding the perfect gift for someone and seeing their reaction when you give it to them.

Knowing what someone is thinking just by looking at them.

Reminiscing about the good old days. 

Pulling off the perfect prank.

Laughing uncontrollably. 

The euphoria of a giggle fit.

Taking in the magnitude of nature’s beauty. 

Gazing out at the view from the top of a mountain.

Smelling lilacs.

Eating honeysuckle.

Being mesmerized by all the stars in the sky on a clear night.

Watching a meteor shower.

Wishing on a shooting star and having it come true.

When it’s about to rain in the summertime and you can smell it in the air.

Basking in the warmth of the sun.

Hanging out by a campfire or in front of a fireplace. 

No Shave November…beards are great.

The smell of a man’s cologne.

The moments leading up to a first kiss. 

Finally getting that first kiss.

When that kiss is a hundred times better than you had imagined it would be.

A kiss that takes your breath away.

Being kissed on top of your head…it’s like the epitome of true adoration.

Holding someone’s hand that seems to fit perfectly with yours.

Hugs that envelope you.

Back rubs.

Spooning.

Falling asleep with their arms wrapped tight around you.

Running your fingers through their hair and massaging their head until they fall asleep.

The moment you realize you truly love someone. 

The butterflies in your stomach you feel when you think of that special someone. 

Realizing your self-worth.

Realizing you deserve only the best.

Standing up for yourself.

Finding out the truth and proving that you were not crazy or paranoid.

The exact moment you realize you are completely over someone you didn’t think you’d ever get over.

When your broken heart has healed after being shattered.

Meeting someone that makes you forget that your heart was ever broken before.

The serendipitous moment someone crosses your mind and they walk through the door.

Feeling giddy when your phone rings and you see their name flashing on the screen.

Feeling like a goofy teenager again.

Falling in love.

Letting go of old grudges.

Letting go of negative feelings.

Forgiving someone.

Making up after a fight.

Doing the right thing.

Cutting out anything that doesn’t have a positive effect on your life.

A good therapeutic cry.

Screaming at the top of your lungs.

Releasing pent-up emotions.

Realizing how incredibly good life is when you count your blessings.

Being able to breathe out of your nose after having a cold for a week.

Feeling human again after recovering from an illness.

When someone knows exactly what you’re going through.

The comfort of knowing you’re not the only one going through a rough time.

Appreciating the fact that no matter what, it could always be worse.

Knowing you have people that support you and love you unconditionally. 

Finding support from a surprising source.

Being protected.

Protecting someone.

Speaking your mind and not being one bit concerned with what anyone thinks.

Being able to laugh at yourself.

Finding yourself.

Having direction.

Having goals.

Achieving your goals.

Finally remembering something that you were trying to think of for the longest time.

Reconnecting with someone from your past.

Nostalgia.

Feeling at peace. 

Riding a roller coaster or any ride that makes your stomach flip.

Doing something that scares the crap out of you.

Speeding.

Breaking the rules.

Adrenaline.

Taking a deep breath.

Stretching.

Dancing.

Rubbing your eyes after taking out your contacts.

Volunteering.

Learning new things.

Experiencing new things.

Seeing new places.

Finally arriving at a destination after getting lost along the way.

Sitting on the beach with your toes in the sand.

Jumping into any body of water on the hottest day.

Quenching your thirst.

Taking the first bite of food when you have never felt hungrier.

Savoring the taste of chocolate and salt after craving it for days.

Hopping into a hot shower when you feel disgusting.

Bubble baths.

Indulging in guilty pleasures.

Quoting every word from your favorite movie that never gets old.

Getting wrapped up in a great book you can’t put down.

When your favorite book is made into a movie and it’s on point.

Solving a difficult puzzle.

Seeing how happy your dog is to see you when you walk through the door. 

How sweet it is when your dog knows when you’re upset and snuggles up to you to comfort you.

Watching dogs play with each other…hours of entertainment.

Finding out there’s going to be an addition to your family.

Meeting the new addition.

When an infant reaches out and grabs your finger with its tiny little hand.

Tickling baby feet.

Squishing chubby cheeks.

Being overwhelmed by the cuteness of a baby’s deep belly laugh.

Witnessing a baby saying its first word or taking its first steps or any other first.

Hearing a child say something so profound it leaves you awestruck.

When the purity and innocence of children restores your faith in humanity.

Playing Hide-N-Seek at any age.

Feeling like a kid again.

Being carefree.

Teaching something to someone.

Venting to someone.

Letting someone vent to you.

Having a shoulder to cry on.

Being the shoulder for someone to cry on.

Fully trusting someone.

Someone fully trusting you.

Being trusted with a secret.

Keeping a secret despite the urge to spill the beans.

The relief of finding out that it’s not a secret anymore.

Random acts of kindness. 

Taking off high heels after a very long night.

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