After all this time, I’m still heartbroken. I’m completely over him, but it still hurts when I think about the situation. He didn’t just break my heart…he demolished it. I was the idiot who gave him that power though. I kept going back to him over and over again. I guess I’m an emotional masochist. Every time we would get back together, he would swear that he would never hurt me again. And I knew he was full of shit every single time, but I took him back anyway. I knew he would hurt me again. I loved him so much that I was willing to set myself up for a big fall. And it hurt just as much the first time. Knowing that it was going to happen didn’t make it hurt any less. You can mentally brace yourself, but when it comes down to it, it’s still going to hurt like hell. Or maybe it hurt because deep down I am a bit of an optimist and I was hoping that he would prove me wrong by being faithful. I don’t regret being with him because it helped shape my character. I learned a lot about myself. Like how far I would go for someone I love. That I’m very forgiving….sometimes to a fault. But most importantly I learned that I need to have more respect for myself. To never again allow someone to disrespect me like that. To never again give my heart to someone who will be careless with it.